Waking

Something I noticed in the book was how people viewed Matthew and reacted to him.  As a social worker, I believe in ideas like client self-determination.  This means that the client has the right to make his/her own decisions on services and on what the client feels he or she needs.  This can also be translated in Matthew's situation that Matthew's feelings should have been respected.  The doctors should have listened to him when he said that he was in pain; they should have at least considered what he was saying.  Instead, the doctors disregarded his feelings as normal and him complaining about nothing.  I was so upset after reading that.  They also suggested that he would only feel whole again if his body was restored back to normal, making it seem as if he would never be able to be whole.  I understand that doctors probably have had more experience with patients in those situations and what patients usually feel, but I also hate the mentality that many professionals have when they think they know better and will not listen to anything anyone else says.  I might be a little extreme in my opinion because the doctor did not mean to disregard Matthew's feelings and felt bad that he did not listen to Matthew.  The doctors also did not want him to have expectations or dreams and then have them not be fulfilled, which is why they did not want him to be concerned with the small movements he could make.  At the same time, I think that the doctors needed to acknowledge those small things and should not be so quick to decide what is best for their patients.  I think that not acknowledging those small things can also cause great harm to the patients – maybe even more so than giving the patients a little hope.  For example, the patients could begin questioning their own judgment and feel like they have nothing to work towards if they are given no hope.  Patients in these situations need a strong desire to overcome the mental stigma that they will be burdens to others and that there is a chance for things to get better even if it is not exactly what the patients have in mind.
 
Another thing I noticed in the book was that Matthew discussed how yoga helped him reconnect with his body.  (This is actually probably one of the main points in the book.)  I can also say that I think yoga has helped me connect more so with my body.  As an example, I can really tell how I have become more aware of parts of my body.  I never thought I could really pull my quads upwards or that I could move the skins between my shoulders back.  I have tested my capabilities such as by even attempting to do inversions.  I would never have imagined that I could do a head stand all by myself by kicking my legs all the way up onto a wall.  I still cannot do a handstand, but one step at a time right?  It does not even need to be a drastic pose such as doing an inversion.  Yoga has even shown me my capabilities in “simple” poses like cow pose, eagle pose, and tree pose.  Cow pose and eagle pose have helped me see how my limbs can twist around each other while tree pose has helped me see how much I can balance or not balance.  I am excited to see how much more I can challenge my body and do things I would never have thought imaginable before taking this yoga class.

Waking by Matthew Sanford greatly impacted me not because of the yoga aspects of the story though I still loved reading about how yoga transformed Matthew's life through its ability to help him heal and reconnect with his body.  The main reason why I loved reading Waking was because I can relate to Matthew's story or at least with his family's part in his story.

A little more than two years ago, my sister was in an accident that broke her neck and left her paralyzed from the chest down and without mobility or sensation in her fingers.  I can relate to how Matthew's family felt as he lay in the hospital right after the accident.  I remember standing in my sister's ICU room, not knowing the outcome of the accident.  I remember fearing that I would lose my sister.  I remember how my family reacted to the accident.  My mom was always at the hospital and only went home a few times the few months my sister was in the hospital just like Matthew's mom was constantly by his side.  My dad, brother, and I tried to keep things together at our house and kept going to work/school during those months just like Matthew's brother tried to resume his "normal" life.  My family also began the journey not knowing much about everything that happens during a patient's stay at the hospital and all the needs of someone who has suffered from a spinal cord injury.  We did not know the jargon.  We were completely lost.  We quickly learned that many medications would be needed, and my sister would need someone to give her baths and catheterize her as well as do her bowel movement.  That would be a huge adjustment for both my mom, myself, and especially my sister.  It would take us a year and a half before we could better regulate all of this.

I do not completely know how my sister has felt about the changes in her body.  I know that it has been an adjustment.  I know that she would prefer being able to do whatever she wants rather than being confined to her bed and her wheelchair.  However, I am not sure if she has accepted what has happened.  She has been much more positive about the accidents and its aftermath than I expected; she does not blame anyone for what happened and is grateful that she is still alive.  She never complains about the lack of mobility, for she seems content with her life as it has played out these past two years.  Does that mean she is actually happy though?

What makes someone happy?  Matthew was happy going to college, discovering how to connect his mind and body, and raising a family.  He did not plan for these exact things to happen, but his happiness came from striving towards healing.  I do not know if my sister is striving towards healing though.  After accidents, patients usually go to physical and/or occupational therapy.  These services will help them regain function or to adjust to new changes, and my sister did benefit from therapy.  However, she has not kept up with what they had taught her, and Matthew's story suggests that individuals need to practice if they want to improve.  I would love for my sister to learn how to become more independent by practicing more of these moves, but I know that she is in charge of her progress.  She must be motivated on her own account to want change, to want to become more independent.  Even though I want her to do these practices and become more independent, that may not be what my sister needs or wants.  I am not her.  I cannot say that a certain service is what she needs.  I can only tell her of ways that she can learn and especially of methods that I think she will enjoy.  Therefore, I want to tell her about the yoga methods catered to those with disabilities.  I love how yoga can be adapted to everyone's situation no matter what that situation may be.  I think she will enjoy the poses, and I can do the poses with her.  I need to do more research on how I can access resources to learn more about these poses and programs.

As stated above, I love how yoga can be adapted for anyone.  I would love to see how Matthew has adapted the yoga poses for those who have limited mobility.  Yoga is so great at using what individuals are capable of doing.  Even in our class, I can see how yoga has been adapted to each of our individual’s capabilities and needs.  Dr. Schultz always comments on how we execute the poses and will help us to adapt the poses to make us more comfortable.  She is very receptive to what we say.  For example, if we say a pose is not comfortable or look like we are not comfortable in a pose, she will adjust the pose to make the pose more enjoyable.  Yoga is not easy, but it should not be painful in a way that will not lead to better executed poses.  I think it is so inspirational that Matthew felt the desire to spread the healing he has experienced through yoga.  I cannot imagine how he has impacted other people’s lives not only as he teaches yoga but also through this book, for the book provides testimony that those who are disabled can find healing.

The end of the book definitely sparked a hopefulness for the future at least in my hopes for anybody who has a physical disability especially a paralysis of the lower body.  Matthew’s story showed that those with physical disabilities can still have families.  I know that many people with physical disabilities do not believe that they will be able to foster children, but Matthew’s story shows that it is possible.  These individuals do not necessarily need to go the same route Matthew did.  They do not need to go through in vitro fertilization.  There is another option: adoption.  I understand that there will probably be some difficulties with adoption since physical limitations might come into consideration when adoption agencies decide on whether a client is suitable for adopting a child, but I do also believe that God will always provide opportunities for individuals to get to where He plans.  If a person with a physical limitation is called to be a parent, God will lead him/her to that and provide ways for that individual to be a parent.  We do not always get what we want I realize.  I know that individuals with physical disabilities most likely did not want to have a physical limitation.  Things will work out though.  I think that when we look back on life, we will see that life worked out in the best way for us.  I think that Matthew will look back and see that maybe he did not want to be in that accident and become paralyzed, but at the end of his life he will be happy for how it turned out.  He will find that he was happy.  He married someone who accepted him for all of him and greatly loved him.  (Side note: I think that his story also is hopeful because it means that it is possible for someone disabled to find love.  It is possible for him/her to be loved even though there is a limitation.  Limitations do not prevent anyone from love.  I think that many disabled individuals believe they will always be alone and that there is not hope for love, but Awakening is an example of how love transcends anything physical.)  Matthew also will be happy because he is father to two sons.  Even though one son has passed away, I think that Matthew will still always be grateful that he could have known William for even that short amount of time.  I think the relationship that we form are ultimately what we will determine how we judge the quality of our lives.  Matthew demonstrated great relationships to his family, to all the friends he gained through his journey, and also to all those he has and will help.  According to me, I think he has already lived a magnificent life that is worth living over and over again