As I was reading the first two chapters of this book, I appreciated how willing Christina Sell is to disclose very personal information about her journey. Her stories about her past have made her feel more real, more human. I cannot imagine the struggles that she had to face with her self-image. Of course I have had to deal with feeling unattractive, but I have never struggled with my weight or the scrutiny of all those around me. The author has continuously dealt with weight fluctuations and overexertion; her claim that yoga has helped her become more self-confident convinces me that yoga will also help me become more self-confident.
In the past year, I feel that I have become more accepting of my appearance due to the encouragement of another person. Throughout the past year, a friend has boosted my self-esteem by praising my natural beauty. He helped me see that I did not need to hide behind make-up or get dressed up; I can be myself and still be beautiful. Beauty does not need to be what society dictates. I get to decide what is beautiful. I still am not the most confident person in the world especially with my appearance, but my self-confidence is the best that it has ever been.
The story at the end of Chapter 2 by Minnie made me think about why I even care about looks. Reading that story has made me question, but the story alone is not enough to completely change me. I am sure that I will still care about my looks after reading this book, but hopefully I will not emphasize it quite as much.
Like Rachel in Chapter 1, yoga has made me feel better about myself. My body has felt much lighter and upbeat. I do not think I have achieved the same realization that Rachel has in that her sense of beauty comes from a feeling rather than an appearance, but maybe I will one day claim that belief. In class I am still self-conscious around all the other yoga students. I become very insecure after seeing how well other students can do all the poses, but Dr. Schultz has been great at complimenting each of us individually as well as gently correcting our mistakes. Because I know that I am doing well on certain poses and improving on other poses, I feel better about my practice of yoga. I will continue to try to just focus on my practice of yoga and understand that each student is at a different place concerning yoga. I do not need to compare myself to other students and do not need to be the best at anything or everything. Maybe as an honor student/BIC student I have it in my head that I need to be the best and strive to overachieve. Every time I make a mistake, I beat myself up over it and dwell on the mistake. Is this a sign of memory? Does anyone in the class have these feelings in general or about yoga?
Glad you are resonating with the book. It is hard to let those over achieving feelings go, but yoga class is a great environment to practice it.
ReplyDeleteYou really do the poses very well, I am especially envious of your masterful ability to sit on your feet. So simple for some, yet so hard for me.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what you have been going through emotionally, but I admire that you recognized your negative feelings and then actually did something to change your mindset. I often cannot talk myself down from difficult situations like that, much less physically do something about it.
So be encouraged, you are making great strides! Hope your weekend is going well.
I love how everyone in the class is always very encouraging! I must admit that I have my good days and my bad days. There will be days when I can be happy and feel inner peace. Other days I will be down in the dumps again, overthinking many aspects of my life. I really hope to use yoga as a method of reflection.
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